How To Find Love In 2010
(After Being Hurt Again)
Love is supposed to be a good thing, but at times it can feel bad.
Sometimes, love can hurt so bad that you might wish you could die. At other times, love feels so good that you wish you could feel that way forever.
Love is something that we all need, even if we don’t like to admit it. Love is a powerful thing.
But, what do you do when you love someone so much, and they hurt you so bad?
“How do I go on and how could I ever open myself up again to someone, only get hurt like this again?????”
Easy…. you just do it.
I have learned in life that we all make mistakes, and mistakes help us grow. The more we grow…the more we learn. The more we learn…the more we can teach. With time, all wounds can be healed. We must learn to forgive and let go.
So you may ask, “How can I fall in love again, after being hurt???”
Step One: Cry
Seriously…Cry for days, weeks and even months if that‘s what it takes.
Get all of the sadness that this person caused you out of your system.
Write them letters, send them emails, leave them messages, but get it out…even if they don’t hear what you have to say.
Don’t walk around with all the weight of the pain they have caused upon your shoulders. It is can be very unhealthy, if you don’t let it go. It could cause you to bring it into your new relationship and mess up things with the next person. Take time to heal before you jump into the next relationship.
Step Two: Do something nice for yourself!
Take your self to the spa. Buy a new pair of shoes. Go and get your hair cut. Treat yourself the way you want someone to treat you. If you don’t treat yourself good, how do you expect another person to.
Step Three: Heal/Fix Yourself
Sometimes, we like to blame everyone else for our problems instead of taking responsibility for ourselves. No one owes us anything in life. If we have been dealt a bad hand, it is up to us to fix it. We can’t change the past, we can only fix ourselves for the future.
Relationship Advice – 5 Things A Man Should Not Let A Woman Talk Him Into
I know that a lot of Ladies are not going to like me for this, but we can’t always “male bash”. There are a lot of good MEN out there that let bad WOMEN walk all over them. So here are 5 Things A Man Shouldn’t Let A Woman Talk Him Into
1. Talk Him into marrying Her:
Sometimes men get married for all the wrong reasons. Most of the time, the woman has talked him into doing this crazy act.
Men you shouldn’t marry a woman because she had a baby with you. You shouldn’t marry because you’re afraid she is going to leave you. And you shouldn’t marry a woman because of money.
You should marry her because you love Her. Because you to want the same things in life and are willing to work together to get them.
If you marry a woman that has talked you into marrying her, 8 times out of 10, it is going to end in divorce. So marry her because you want to.
2. Having Unprotected Sex With Her:
Everything that glitters is not gold. So, just because she looks like she is “clean“, doesn’t mean that she is. There are some nasty woman out there trying to give diseases away because someone gave it to them. Men and Women need to protect themselves because their life depends on it.
3. Cross Dress For Her:
NEVER let her talk you into cross dressing “for laughs” and taking pictures of it. There is no reason why a man should wear women’s clothes – that is not SEXY. They make men’s clothing for a reason and that is for men to wear them.
4. Commit a Crime
This was mentioned in my other blog about things Women Shouldn’t let Men talk them into. The same goes for men.
Some women ask for lots of things and some men will steal and nearly kill to please their woman. This is foolish.
Your freedom is precious and you should never risk it to please someone else. If they really love you, they would never ask you for anything that would require you to risk your freedom.
5. Feeling Insecure
A lot of women have the tendency to make their man feel smaller. Whether or not it is on purpose, a man should always stand up for himself in these instances.
Many women are guilty of making our man feel inadequate financially, sexually, emotionally, or whatever. This is wrong and men should never allow themselves to be belittled. A woman that really loves you will encourage you and accept your imperfections, since we are not perfect either.
I Hate His Baby Mama Part 1 …………..
“I can’t stand that crazy BIT*H!”
Is that how you feel about her??????
She makes you want to pull her hair out.
She makes you want to run her over with your car.
You just wish this crazy Lady would disappear!
But the truth of the matter is, she is not going NO where. So, if you have decide to stay with him, put on your seat belt and get ready for the ride. Because all of us women know that it is hard to deal with another woman. Especially, the BABY MAMA……..
One thing that we need to realize, as his new woman, is that the “ex” does a lot of spiteful things because she is hurt. It doesn’t matter if the relationship ended because of him or because of her or if the relationship ended on good terms or bad terms. Sometimes, it is harder for a woman to move forward in a new relationship, because we are always comparing our new man to our old man.
So, while their “baby daddy” is now happy with you, they can’t see how he has moved on so fast or even moved on at all. We always think that he can’t find anyone better than us.
Women are just self absorb like that. We think that no woman is better than us. (Especially his new woman.) However, it’s not that you’re a better woman than her, you’re just better for him than she was.
But she might not see it like that. So that is why she may try to cause problems in your relationship.
How To Make Your Relationship Last With Him While Dealing With Her
1. Don’t get JEALOUS when he has to communicate with her. That might be hard to do sometimes, because we all have our insecure days. But ,as long as they have children under 18, they are going to have to communicate.
2. Show Respect. This might be real hard. Especially, if she doesn’t show the same respect to you. Never let her have something bad to say about you that is true. She can talk bad and think bad about you all day. But, when she does come around one day she is going to realize how much of a fool she looked like.
3. Never give her control. Don’t let her have you mad at him for something she said or did. (Trust me this is hard also.) If you give her control over your emotions, you might as well give her control over your life. (Don’t let someone ride your gas out your car when they are not giving you gas money)
4. Always remember, it is about the kids. If you love the kids like they are yours, it will be a little easier to deal with. Kids don’t ask for any of this– just remember that. If they are happy with you and show you love, you can look pass her efforts to make you unhappy.
Ladies, just remember, nothing in life is easy and time will heal all wounds.
LastUnicorn photography is the visualization of Jessica McDaniel. A true southern girl, she uses her love of God, family, friends, and food to inspire her photography, writing, and music. Her favorite things to photograph are the things you may not see; her favorite things to write about are the things no one else will say; and her favorite things to sing about are the things your soul feels! She feels her greatest accomplishments in life to date are her 2 beautiful children and the great love in her life, but knows there are many more to come…..
To see more picture go to http://www.flickr.com/photos/lastunicorn/
contact LastUnicorn photography: email@example.com
5 Things You Should Never Let A Man Influence You To Do!!!!!!“
If you love me, then you would _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _”- you fill in the blanks.How many times has a man told you that?
Or how about this one “You need to prove to me how much you love me.”
True love has no circumstances , there is only love. So there should never be a situation that calls for you to prove your love for him.
While there are a lot of things that we shouldn’t be influenced to do, these are the top 5 on my list of things.
1. Have sex with him if your not ready:
This has to be one of the biggest No-No‘s. You cannot find love in sex. Having sex with him is not going to prove to him that you love him. Even if he says that it will. You should not have sex with someone until you’re ready. So many women make this mistake and they are the only one that gets hurt in the end.
Sex, for most women, is an emotional thing. While, for most man, it is a more physical thing. So having sex with him is not proving to him that you love him.
2. Tattooing his name on your body:
I know, at the time when you’re getting his name tattooed on your body, you are thinking you’re going to be together forever. But, in most cases, that is not always true. How crazy can you be to get his name tattooed on you when he is not willing to do the same? How much does he really love you?
So, if you and the guy that you were soooo in love with decide to separate, do you really think that the next man wants to see another man’s name on your body? Would you want to see another woman’s name on his body? I know I wouldn’t.
Any man that suggests that you put their name on your body is only doing it for ownership and I’m not anybody’s property! So, tattooing his name is not an expression of love.
3.Assisting him with doing anything illegal:
Women, nowadays, talk about being a ‘down ass chick‘. I work with plenty of women that have went to prison for doing some man’s crime. A man really doesn’t love you if he ask you to do something illegal. How can you put your life in harms way for him, especially if you have children? I’m not going to be sitting up in nobody’s jail for no man, while my child gets molested by some man in foster care – all for being a down ass chick.
My life and my child’s life are worth so much more than that. If a man convinces you to do something illegal to prove to him that you love him then you’re just plain STUPID.
4.Believing he will leave his wife for you:
I know that this is going to be a touchy topic.
No woman wants to believe that the man that they are in love with is not really in love with them. Men who are married understand that their is this thing called divorce. And if they really don’t want to be with their wife and really want to be with you, they will act on the process of getting a divorce.
Sometimes, we women are so blinded by what we want, we don’t sit down and make sense of everything that is going on in this unhealthy relationship. We just keep listening to his lies and games and continue to get caught up in his web of deception.
If he loves you like he says he does, he wouldn’t want to see you hurt and alone another day in your life. All this man is doing is playing the numbers game – seeing how long you will hang on and continue to let him use you up.
And if he really decides to leave his wife why would you want to be with this untrustworthy, dishonest, lying, cheating man. If he did it to her, what makes you think that he is not going to do it to you. He doesn’t RESPECT You He doesn’t RESPECT his wife and he doesn’t RESPECT himself.
5.Stay with him if He is beating on you:
I have seen many talk shows, TV shows, movies and was a victim myself of this very act.
“He loves me even thought he beats on me.” “NO THE HELL HE DOESN’T”
Woman, you need to get out that relationship as fast as you can before you end up DEAD.
If someone loves, you they will not hurt you on purpose. Do not allow a man to convince you to stay if he is beating on you. There is not enough words in the English Dictionary that can explain why your eye is busted up again. Why he knocked your tooth out. Why he broke your arm.
There is no reason in the world why you should let someone keep apologizing to you for doing the same act to you over and over and over again. He really doesn’t love you.
Women, please be smart in choosing who you love and what you are willing to do for them. Don’t be with someone because they look good or got a lot of money. Love someone who loves you as much as they love themselves.